And I learned ‘You deserve better’
was sometimes no more
than a synonym for ‘I don’t want to hurt you,
and I want you to be happy,
but I don’t love you anymore.
Life without ac, briefly: windows wide open to summer’s breath like mouths, lips spread wide, first kisses in the pale moon’s light. Grass that had been cooking in the dirt all day cooling in the dew stirred by the fan humming like a time machine driving me back to my youth: the faintest smell of gasoline, hot pavement and sunscreen. Tiny prickles wash across exposed limbs from the night’s wind, skin warmed by the sun and pinked by its rays now find cooler air cold enough for blankets knit by the bony rheumatic knuckles of loved grand aunts never met weaving together comfort with their wool and wit. / / by the me at this moment, Alyssa Mackenzie, who promised herself to write more freely, publicly.
This is how I learned the permanence of my own body:
When my uncle inherited his tumor and swayed under the weight
of knowing he could pass it down to his children
like mouths learn to love the hand that feeds them,
his wife tied a string of dinner spoons over the front hall mirror
Hi! Alyssa, you have convinced me to create this blog. I think it’s a pretty cool idea and now you will all know that I am alive and well! I will try to update this blog and post as many photos and stories whenever I have the opportunity. Tomorrow, I depart for Leysin, Switzerland—how exciting! The Swiss are wonderful! Anyway, seeing as it is 12:13 and 54 seconds, I should probably catch some z’s.
& she’s off!
"I am not the same having seen the moon shine on the other side of the world." - MAR